From the story archive · Fictional encounter
First date after a year of being single. Expensive restaurant, candlelight, perfect conversation flow. He's telling me about his volunteer work when—FRRRP—the barking spider decides it's also joining us for dinner.
I was mortified, tried to blame the chair. He just smiled and said, "I have irritable bowel syndrome, so you're in good company." We're getting married next spring.
He later admitted he'd been browsing a certain old-school website for gift ideas for his nephew, which is why he was so cool about the whole thing. I thought farms only shipped live specimens, but apparently they have quite the merchandise selection too!